Audioace's Thoughts

The hardest thing we have to face is ourselves.

We tend to be creatures of habit, and a lot of the time we ignore the fact that our habit has taken us on a path in the direction we tried to avoid in the the first place. People will point and tell us that we are headed down the wrong path, and we just ignore them.

In fact, sometimes, we end up despising their opinions. We rebel. A lot of times, we realized before anyone said anything that something was wrong, that we were going the wrong way.

Only when we are in total desperation do we look at ourselves seriously, though. At that moment, we want to change. We want a better outcome than practically begging for love, food, and shelter. We want a better life than our parents. We want freedom. We don’t want to be on this path. Some of us look back and choose the good life like its a no brainer, but some of us beat ourselves up over making the stupid decisions we have made. We stay stuck on that spot on that path and not move anywhere. That is where I am currently residing, at a point of self depreciation.

I have to face myself. I have to face all of my mistakes. I have to face all of the people that do not appreciate my actions. I have to face all of the doubt in my abilities. I have to face my fears, ugliness, and black heart. I have to face everything that is wrong with me. Me, I have to do it. I don’t want to do it alone. I am ashamed of some of the stuff I have done in the past. I am angry at people who have used me after all I did for them. I am jealous of friends who seem to have a better life than I do because they have everything just “figured out”. The hardest part is facing all of this at one time.

I have news for you, though. I don’t have to face it alone. In fact, God doesn’t look at my bad decisions at all. If he doesn’t, why should I? He put his Son on this Earth to die for our sins, right? We could never be good enough for God. In fact, we can’t even be good enough for the world let alone God! God said, “I don’t care about your past.” Why do you think Jesus never asked the people who had something wrong with them, “Umm… did something happen in your childhood?” or “were you beaten in your previous relationship?” Because God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit only want what is now. They said don’t worry about the future for it has its own problems. If I don’t want to be that person that was walking down the wrong path, I just have to say “God, take me home. I will follow you, now.” I’m sure he would respond with something like “FINALLY!!! Now, let’s go this way!”